Sneaking out by the pale moonlight -- what was I thinking?

By Megan M. Roe

September 21, 2005 | I snuck out, don't worry about me, Love, Megan.

I laid the note on my bed, just in case someone came down to check on me. I didn't want to come home to police cars and frightened parents. I was 17 with a mind of my own. It was a school night, a Tuesday, with an almost non-existent moon and a clear sky full of stars. I hadn't even gone out with friends that night. I had been home since the late afternoon. I helped my mom with dinner and even did my homework, acting like a wonderful child, all the time planning my escape. I waited until midnight, almost an hour after my parents had dozed off.

I was going to meet a boy. In retrospect, a stupid, immature boy, but at the time, he was worth sneaking out for.

My room was situated in the best possible place, right next to the storage room and the outside door. I slowly opened my bedroom door, only enough to slip out, and quietly shut it again. As I walked toward the storage room, I heard someone whispering. Oh freak, I've been caught, I thought. As I glanced into my little brother's room, I let out a sigh of relief. He almost always talked in his sleep.

I slipped past his room and into the storage room. I unlocked the deadbolt to the outside door. Because the door hadn't been opened for more than a year, it squealed as I pushed it open. I instantly pulled back. My stomach muscles tightened as I tried to stop a shriek coming from my lungs. There, at the bottom of the outside stairwell and the foot of the door, was a huge, dead rat.

That didn't stop me.

I felt a rush of adrenaline the moment I recognized the cool outside air on my face. I hadn't woken anyone up. Now I just needed to get past my dog. She usually barked at the slightest sound. I walked around to the front of the house. There she was, silent, but coming toward me. Relieved, I let her follow me as I began to walk the short distance to our meeting place.

My adrenaline rush quickly departed as I walked along the gravel road. As my excitement began to fade, I looked up at the sliver of a moon in the southeastern sky. The stars around it seemed to almost overpower it, yet that sideways smile seemed to know exactly what I was up to. I could almost hear it laughing at me.

Immediately, I felt silly. I was sneaking out for a stupid boy. What was I trying to prove? As I approached his car sitting by the side of the road, I tried to think up an excuse -- something that wouldn't make me look like a total fool. Instead of getting in his car I walked up to the driver's side door. With a puzzled look on his face, he started to get out.

"Um, I just realized I have a test in the morning and I think I ought to get some sleep so, uh, we'll have to do this another time," I stammered. If my goal was to look cool, I had definitely failed.

While he let me know that I had really put him out, I started to realize he wasn't worth sneaking out for after all. He got in his car after telling me off and sped off. I stood where his car had been for some time, trying to figure out some great meaning from what I had just done. Nothing came to me, I guess I was just a wuss. Just then I felt the cold nip my nose and I longed for my warm bed.

At least my dog still loves me, I thought, as she and I walked back. My head hung low as I walked toward my shadow of a house. I was sure he would tell all of his friends about me chickening out.

With my embarrassment I also felt relief. My parents would never find out about this. I could just go to bed and act like nothing had ever happened. I walked back down the stairway and past the dead rat to the door I had come out. I reached for the doorknob. It wouldn't turn. How could it be locked? My parents must have caught me and locked me out! I could just see my dad's face the next morning. He had never yelled at me. Instead, when my siblings and I had done something wrong, he would just have this hurt look on his face, like he had been betrayed. It was such a painful look. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint my dad. But it was inevitable now that he knew what I had done.

By now, my fingers were stinging and my toes were numb. I ran around to the front and back doors. Both were locked. I realized my parents probably wanted me to ring the doorbell and beg for mercy. I was not about to do that. I froze for a while, then realized there was another door. I turned the kitchen door handle and, to my surprise, it opened. It creaked noisily, but I didn't care, I was already caught. As I walked through the kitchen, I ran into a chair and knocked it completely onto the wood floor, making a loud boom. I picked it up and half expected my parents to come from their room with disappointed looks on their faces, asking for an explanation.

Yet I heard different sound coming from their bedroom. It was snoring. They were asleep. I hadn't been caught. I ran down to the storage room door. Upon closer examination, I focused my eyes on another lock on that door -- a lock that only works from the outside. I had locked myself out.

When I woke up the next morning, I waited to hear from my dad. He said nothing, but his usual "Good morning sweetie."

I learned no lesson from that experience. Instead, I realized how easy it was to sneak out. That night, I grabbed the note I had laid on my bed the night before, and stuck it in my dresser drawer, just in case I might need it again.

NW
MS