Attention, Utah girls! There's life after high school, and it's not marriage

By Lauren Murakami

September 20, 2005 | Twenty-one years young. Except when living in Utah, where it really does mean 21 years old. So here it is, I am 21 years old, I am not dating anyone seriously (truthfully I am not dating anyone at all, or even going on dates for that matter).

But that's OK because I think Utah itself, in a way, has used reverse psychology on me until the point of almost hating the idea of marriage. I know that is pretty bold to say while living in Utah. Most girls are horrified of the idea of never getting married, picturing themselves a little Miss Hermit of a lady, crocheting, eating and watching TV at her parents house while still wistfully going to a singles ward. Honestly, I hope the right guy is out there, but I'm not looking.

Getting out of Utah for the summer to make money turned out even more necessary for me than I ever could have imagined. I did miss five weddings, two baby showers, six homecomings and a couple of farewells. But oh well, I probably didn't need the extra weight the casseroles, pasta salads, mint brownies, éclairs and green Jell-O would have given me while attending these events. Growing up in Utah is basically growing up in a bubble, but it's not until you leave it, until you realize just how suffocating it really is. Sadly, many girls go from their parent's house straight to their husbands. Never taking the opportunity of living just for themselves, doing whatever they want, buying whatever they want, I won't say doing whoever they want, but essentially -- yes. Let me tell you, it is oh so refreshing.

I spent my summer working as a nanny in New York. The kids were in camp for most of the day, so my job was really easy. But either way, I had my nights and weekends free; wow, that sounds like a cell phone ad. But really, it worked out great for me, I would recommend it to any girl, or guy, I guess, I did hear about one manny. But basically, the college years are meant to experience new things. Not just an education, but a realization of a bigger world. So logically, getting out and seeing the world really does make sense.

College is the only time in our lives where we can just pick up and go whenever we want without any obligations. Trips like traveling south for spring break and sun. Or even a jam-packed car with girls and clothes for a road trip, where the act if getting there is half the fun. And summer camping trips under the stars with boys and marshmallows. Money I make doesn't have to be for bills, diapers, and bread like some of my friends. This summer I visited some major east coast cities, bought a suitcase full of new shoes and jackets, and went to New York City almost every weekend (which I defended, when questioned by my parents on how much I saved, as the higher cost of living in New York).

When I get married, hypothetically speaking of course, it is going to be a party, a celebration in my honor. There will be a toast and a roast, with champagne. These youngens getting married today are not even old enough to drink legally. I believe it is defined as underage, hence the word, underage. They are too young to drink alcohol but not too young to have a family of their own. I fully realize that at these types of weddings, they wouldn't want alcohol there anyway, but still, underage.

So until Utah girls realize that being twenty-something years old isn't in fact old, I will just keep making friends with girls younger than me. Because all of my friends that are my age, like to get married. Marriage for me right now literally is like the cliché of a ball and chains. Maybe I have just watched too many episodes of Sex and the Citybecause those four women are all in their late thirties and fabulous. Its now on TBS and UPN just in case you've haven't ever seen it. So go watch it and realize some people really do live their lives like that. I mean, it's definitely more real than a "reality" TV show.

There is life after high school. It isn't marriage. There should be a time in everyone's life when you live solely for yourself and subsequently you will find yourself, before you find yourself a man.

NW
MS