By Danial Dew

When will parents start taking responsibility for the troubled teens that so many are breeding these days?

Jacob has just been sentenced to his third stay in the local juvenile detention center. His life of 14 years seems to have been filled with nothing but turmoil. The judge looked to him before he passed sentence and inquired as to when the young man would "clean up his act?" When the boy didn't answer, the judge turned his head and asked Jacob's mother the same question.

Her reply? "I can't do a thing with him. He won't listen, he won't mind, he fights me at every turn; that damn boy just won't cooperate." So Jacob lowers his head, turns away from his mother's glare, and is led to his awaiting cell, hands cuffed.

Isn't it time that we as parents make a stand for family, for our children, for parenthood itself? How many Jacobs do we need to experience before we start taking responsibility for our own issue?

There are two major contributors to the delinquency of our youth. First, more often than not, a frazzled parent will often scream at his or her young ones in the hopes of making them comply. Does anyone really believe the correct way to change a situation for the better is located at the top of one's lungs? Of course we have Jacobs when this is how children are raised. What makes parents think that their own examples of acceptable behavior are going to be censored before the children repeat the same? Isn't it quite obvious that imitation is the easiest way for our children to learn? Of course Jacobs are going to act as this young man's mother indicated; it is not their nature, but the product of the nurture; or as seen in far too many cases, the lack thereof.

Secondly, how often, especially when in a grocery store, have we heard a parenting-skill challenged individual offer to buy their youngsters compliance? Just because you can purchase essentially everything you could ever need at your local Wal-Mart, it doesn't mean that you should also try to shop for your own child's obedience. What happens when young Sarah realizes that by having a fit she can acquire most anything she desires? Those fits start to become regular visitors. At the same time, the fits begin to morph; they get bigger, more abrasive, and they inevitably become less responsive to that ever-so-magic word, "no."

Now back to Jacob. In court his mother placed the blame squarely upon his shoulders. Unfortunately for him this is a very easy thing to do. Mom, I think it is time you take a realistic look into your parenting skills. Do you have them? Are they flawed? Obviously in need of upgrade? Do you need help refining them? Ah, that last one is the answer.

Instead of being so dang concerned about what other people think, you need to care about the young lives you are influencing. Ask for help. Learn the skills that are not innate. Believe that the most important thing in your life is your child, and then, take the necessary steps to prove this love. As parents, many people forget that a combination of tolerance, patience, and understanding is the key.

For today, Jacob will sit in his cell, think about those things he is missing on the outside, and become harder. He will not be able to pass the blame; it is his turn to pay. But for future reference, wouldn't it be better if Jacob's mother didn't skirt the blame? If she took responsibility earlier, gained the knowledge and skills her child so deserved, then molded a fine young man with the materials she could so easily acquire, would not the end result be better? Without a doubt.