Listen up, women! We gotta learn to chill

By Maddie Wilson

November 26, 2007 | I'm speaking to all the women out there. What's our problem? Apparently, we are doing everything right but dealing with negative consequences in return. At least as far as school goes.

A 2000 study found that college women experienced higher stress, more anxiety, and more psychological reactions to stressors than college men. They sweat more, stutter more and experience more headaches due to stress than men, according to the study in the American Journal of Health Studies.

I am living, walking proof of that. If you asked my husband what my No. 1 complaint is, he'd tell you I always have a headache. I'm n-n-not sure if I have the st-st-stuttering problem, though. But my husband might be able to divulge -- and only if I'm not around -- a sweating problem I am unaware of.

The real troubling aspect of these results is that the study found women managed time more efficiently than men. They perceived better control of time. They set and prioritized goals more, and had a more organized approach to tasks and workspace. Women did everything these researchers hypothesized would link to less stress. But they still had more of it.

So, women put more time and organization into school than men. They plan and manage time better. But, they are not gaining anything positive from their efforts.

Sadly, I have found this to be true. Once again, I can compare this to my own anxiety-ridden life. My husband, Ben, never freaks out. He never has a problem sleeping at night. He never busts out in tears. He cannot remember the last time he had a headache. The only time he sweats is when he comes home from playing racquetball.

And he's a student, just like I am. He has little problem waiting until a couple nights before a big project is due to start working on it. He might go to bed a little late, and be a little tired the day as he turns the project in, but that's the extent of his stress. He can go forward the next day with a big smile on his face, feeling at ease.

It's a different story for me. It kind of goes in phases. First: the worry phase. I start worrying about a paper or test weeks in advance. The worry starts small, but grows until my chest feels like it's going to collapse.

Next comes the pile-up phase. For some reason, I look at every single assignment, paper, test or project I have to do throughout the semester. I feel like I have to do them all within the next week. I know it does not make any sense. But I do it anyway and the back of my neck starts to tighten.

Third: the immobilization phase. Because I have illogically piled a semester's worth of assignments on me at one time, my brain overloads and freezes. I'm so overwhelmed that I've become completely useless. I can't start working on one paper let alone the 20 I have do by the end of the semester. Instead, I move on to the next phase.

This is the weepy-insomnia phase. Instead of being productive and taking things one day at a time, I sit up at night thinking of all my homework and go in and out of crying convulsions. When I try to lie down to relax, a convulsion starts again.

This is about when my husband does something to snap me out of it. This last phase involves a "CALM DOWN," or a "YOU'RE MAKING ME CRAZY" from Ben. I start to think about what Ben has been dealing with during all my phases. And then I feel bad. But as I'm feeling sorry for Ben, I am suddenly able to resolve to work on the first assignment due.

I always get my assignments done just like Ben does, but I sure do go through a lot more emotional upheaval to get there. According to the study, I'm not alone. Many women out there are struggling with stress, anxiety and emotional issues due to school. There has got to be something we can do about this, some way to relieve the anguish.

The Indianapolis Star lists six ways to relieve these disruptive symptoms of stress:

-- Make plans. For me, a daily planner helps.
-- Laugh. Laughing releases endorphins, which make you feel great.
-- Watch for "hot buttons." These are things that trigger stress, like a looming project due date.
-- Limit stressors. It's okay to say no. You don't have to do everything.
-- Try herbs. Talk to your doctor to find out about herbs like ginseng, which can help build stress resistance.
-- Change your scenery. Take a break or start a hobby. Something that requires long periods of concentration.

So, to all the women out there who feel like they've hit their last straw: take a chill pill.

NW
MS