Nobody told me college could be like jail -- what's up with that?

By Maddie Wilson

November 26, 2007 | Why do people put themselves through the torture of college? Have they done anything so heinous to deserve the punishment that pursuing a four-year degree deals out? I cannot even think of a crime so unpardonable.

My college-aged cousin got married in August and moved away from home. So, basically, he and his wife are in the same situation as my husband and me.

Well, not really.

They moved into a two-bedroom apartment with the three greatest luxuries a living arrangement can provide: a washer, a dryer and a dishwasher. They live close to their parents, and can go visit and grab a home-cooked meal whenever they feel like they do not want to cook dinner. They can go see sweet, old Grandma and Grandpa and eat their even-sweeter treats on a weekly basis. They can head off to Yellowstone and Disneyland any time of the year. All this, and they never went to college. What's up with that?

I thought college was supposed to provide you with that kind of a life. A successful, happy, wealthy, worry-free life. Have I been deceitfully tricked?

Now, it's not like my husband and I live in Timbuktu and have to go years without seeing our families. They're only an hour and a half drive away. But, because of our jail sentences -- school -- we can only go visit about once a month, and that's only if we make bail. Also, we have to do all our dishes by hand and fit all of our belongings into our entire apartment that is probably the size of one of my cousin's bedrooms. Luckily, we don't have to go far for laundry. Our apartment complex does have washers and dryers in the basement.

The rest of the time, though, we are confined to our cells, brooding over textbooks and term papers. The only thing seriously disturbing with this prison is that we willfully admit ourselves into it. Don't ask me why. I think I knew the answer once, sometime around the week before I started my freshman year. But, after reflecting on this past week, I'm clueless as to why anyone would do it. In one week, on top of my regular weekly homework, I had three papers due on Tuesday. Three days later, on Friday, I had another paper due, plus, not one -- which would have been more than enough -- but two tests. This was a week of an unhealthy amount of sleep, crankiness, tears, drooping head during class and no desire to put any motivation into eating nutritiously. I don't even want to think about the next week.

It's not just me, my husband Ben feels the same way. He said it seems like all you're doing in school is jumping through hoops, almost killing yourself, for the professors. "You go to school for four years to get a slip of paper (a diploma) so that you can get a job and then learn it all over again," he said. Because teachers and professors teach students the way things would be done in an "ideal" world.

But, let's face the facts: the real world isn't always ideal. When you go out into the workplace, you have to start learning over again.

So, I ask again: why even go to school in the first place?

College has been the biggest, hardest experience of my life. But even though it is mentally and physically tough at times, I do not regret it. I have really learned how to work, study, deal with problems and failures and interact with others.

As I get closer and closer to graduating -- about seven months -- I find myself becoming more anxious for it all to be over, but scared at the same time, wondering what I will do when it actually ends.

School has been a safety net for me. Through the learning and working process, I've always had my professors and advisors "spotting" me if I fall or don't know what to do next. What will I do when I graduate and don't have that?

It's also been defining for me. When I meet someone, I say, "Hi, I'm Maddie. I'm a college student." I fear and anxiously await the day when I will say, "Hi, I'm Maddie. I'm a college graduate."

So, for all those students feeling like prisoners, wondering if the torment will ever end, just try to remember: anything worthwhile never comes easily. Just keep pushing through the grind. The day of your parole will come, eventually.

NW
MS