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To mock or not to mock? Some
tips for enjoying community musical theater
By
Leslie Mason
November 9, 2007 | The house lights dim, the rustle
of settling patrons calms, and the score comes up in
all its magnificence. You're ready to enjoy a good musical,
but when the guy finally gets the girl and they ride
off into the tacky, acrylic-on-butcher-paper sunset,
your experience at the theatre will influence whether
you return for the next musical or stay home in your
slippers to cuddle a bowl of popcorn and watch Perry
Mason.
When I attended the Heritage Theatre, in Perry, Utah,
I expected to arrive at an actual theatre. Twenty minutes
and four drive-bys later, I pulled into the forty-car
lot of a moldy-bricked, dark-windowed church.
I exited my car with the intent to ask for directions
to the actual location of the theatre when several costumed
people crossed my path. I decided to stalk them rather
than ask for directions. Stalking is more adventurous,
and I don't have to admit I have no idea where I am.
If you attend the Heritage Theatre, let me give you
a piece of advice. The crumbly, specter-filled church
is the theatre. Don't drive by. The address is correct.
If you're good and clap nicely, they may baptize you
at the end of the production.
The theatre, for being a refurbished church, is a
remarkably nice local stage. I walked in, purchased
my ticket ($8) and wandered into the theatre. The squashy
seats are set far apart, mandating distance from your
neighbor. To take away from this bonus, however, there
are only two aisles to exit the theatre, forcing patrons
to possibly crawl over any friends if one should feel
the need to leave to escape eternal, peppy singing and
dancing.
Most patrons attending the theatre don't have any
desire to escape the sappiness. I, on the other hand,
go to productions primarily to tickle my funny bone.
I am much more amused by a lousy production than a mediocre
one. Good productions are nice, but never go to the
theatre expecting a good production. You'll be disappointed.
There are several things you must learn before attending
any musical with the intent to develop your comedic
inner dialogue. (This list does not apply to the musical
Urinetown. That one is way too off-the-charts
weird to be considered typical or good mocking material.)
Here follows a list of the points I deem most critical
to an audienceer's understanding.
1 -- No matter how scary the plot may become, the
moments of tension will always be broken by the inevitable
musical intro to yet another song. After all, nothing
sinister can happen in the joyous world of musicals.
2 -- Yes, normal people really do burst into random
song and dance at any given moment in life. Accept it.
3 -- If you see a show that enlists the participation
of children, animals, or people who have previously
been directors, wow. You have witnessed a miracle greater
than the moving of any mountain. A director could move
a mountain one scoop at a time, but there are laws against
using shovels to fling small children across the stage
when they refuse to go on. Do not mock these productions.
You will find the director has laser beams of fury that
will singe the back of your head and you will never
leave the theatre alive.
4 -- Laugh. Please. If the play is meant to be funny,
this is positive reinforcement for the cast. If it's
not intending to be funny, laugh so they'll be embarrassed
and do a funny play next time. No one wants to see a
sad musical, even those of us who go just to make fun
of the happiness.
If you keep these points in mind during your next
theatrical jaunt, you'll appreciate your outing, whether
you go to mercilessly mock or mindlessly enjoy.
For information about upcoming plays at the Heritage
Theatre, or just to get a map to find the place, go
to www.heritagetheatreutah.com.
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