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Save your money, don't buy 'The Darwin Awards 4'
By Jake Williams
November 13, 2006 | A good story needs to have some
meat to it. Without the relevant details, a good story
becomes just a brief summary. The Darwin Awards 4
lacks these crucial details, instead giving its readers
a compilation of hurried abridgments.
The 286-page hardback is a collection of 129 stories
divided into eight sections, including those involving
water, women, animals, etc. Each story has a common
theme: seemingly ordinary individuals removing themselves
from the gene pool by incredible accidental means. From
the Romanian man who, after being kept awake every night
by a neighbor's chicken, chopped off his penis instead
of the chicken's head to a West Virginia man who blew
up his home after filling it with natural gas to kill
termites, Darwin 4 is crammed cover-to-cover
with potential chin-scratchers and knee-slappers.
But as promising as the premise for the book sounds,
the end product is disappointing. What begins as 286
pages ends up as just 151 pages once one accounts for
pictures, blank and half-filled pages, a few science
columns (more on these in a second), and the book's
intro. It is on these 151 pages that the 129 stories
of unbelievable ineptness are stuffed, an average of
just 1.2 pages per tale.
The author of this fourth installment to the Darwin
bestseller series, Wendy Northcutt, is a good writer
but is just a dreadful storyteller. Most, if not all,
of the hurried adventures leave the reader confused
and with more questions than when the book began. Given
a terrific chance to entertain her readers, Northcutt
comes up shorter than a kneeling Gary Coleman.
The most entertaining parts of Darwin 4 are the aforementioned
science columns that begin each of the books eight sections.
These fabulous four to five page columns are written
by accomplished science writers not named Wendy Northcutt.
My favorite is the discussion that kicks off the section
for stories involving water. Science writer Stephen
Darksyde explains a controversial theory that humans
evolved from other mammal primate hominids because our
ancestors lived in close proximity to water. This "Aquatic
Ape Hypothesis" could explain why humans walk on two
legs instead of four, lack body hair compared to land
mammals, and have high body-fat concentrations, among
other things. All eight columns are worth your consideration
and could change a few of your opinions.
The Darwin Awards 4 has so much potential but,
due in large part to its sacrificing quality for quantity,
doesn't justify a $20 price tag. Instead of dropping
an Andrew Jackson to own it, I recommend spending $2
in gas and $4 for a hot chocolate at the local Borders
to read the 44 pages of science columns. Once you finish,
go home and get on with your life. Who knows, maybe
a story about you will be among those I never read in
The Darwin Awards 5.
NW
RB |
