By Shanna Nielsen

Cell phone use is out of control.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for mobile phones.

Their invention is right up there with sliced bread, but they seem to have one fatal flaw. Apparently something about them disables the part of a person's brain that is responsible for courtesy, respect and just plain common sense.

So, as I see it, in order for us all to live together peacefully in this age of the cell phone -- in other words, in order to curb the violent tendencies that certain people sometimes have toward certain other people yakking on their phones about things that aren't meant for strangers' ears, we should talk about some basic etiquette.

First things first, my most recent observation of these previously undisclosed cell side-effects: A couple days ago I was in my math class and, not the least bit surprisingly; someone's phone rang in the middle of the lecture. He fumbled through his stuff to retrieve it, but oh no, not to turn it off!

Heaven forbid, he was just causing a scene to look for it so he wouldn't miss the call.

"Hello?" he bellowed.

After more than a few dirty looks, he got up and clambered out the door, making quite a ruckus in the process. Finally outside, he planted himself, I don't know -- maybe 4 centimeters from the classroom, so we could all still hear, with clarity, every word he said. So thoughtful, huh?

This brings me to another question: why do people need to scream when they talk on cell phones? Can people not speak at a normal volume? After all, we could probably just set the phone down and keep yelling and the person, even if they're overseas, could still hear.

While I'm at it, another incident: I caught the Aggie Shuttle last week to go to my car, which was at the stadium. I guess the ride was too long because some girl got bored and decided to call someone up. Again, why can't people just be content with their present company? Really, if you watch people walking, I bet 80 percent are on the phone -- do they just want people to know they have someone out in the world who want to talk to them? That the have friends? It's a mystery. Anyway, so this girl starts yakking (loudly, of course) about her boyfriend problems. Yup, her boyfriend problems. To me, the cardinal sin of cell phoners is having emotional conversation in public. So, I kept trying to avert my eyes, but the shuttle really isn't a very big space and there aren't a lot of interesting things to look at, so I had no choice but to hear and see this display. To make a long story short, I bolted off the bus as soon as it stopped feeling adequately inspired (or adequately annoyed) to write this very story.

Cell phoners, pleeease, for all of our sakes, try to remember these basics:

1. Maintain at least a 10-foot zone from anyone while talking.

2. Never talk in elevators, libraries, museums, restaurants, theaters, dentist or doctor waiting rooms, places of worship, auditoriums or other enclosed public spaces, such as hospital emergency rooms or buses. And don't have any emotional conversations in public -- ever.

3. Don't use loud and annoying ring tones that destroy concentration and eardrums. Grow up!

4. Never "multi-task" by making calls while shopping, banking, waiting in line or conducting other personal business.

For more about cell phone etiquette, see http://www.bcentral.com/articles/krotz/165.asp?format=print

OK, now that we are all on the same page about this, we all should be able to live a long and happy life free of cell phone blunders. Yay!