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Election Day: It's full of pepper and split pea soup, and a host of other things to honor By
Matthew Flitton Today Americans should stand together. As we fight terrorism around the world, let us join hands and celebrate United Americans Day. The timing is appropriate since November is One Nation Under God Month, as well as National Moral Indignation Month. According to dailyglobe.com, today there are 11 holidays, not counting independence days of other countries (Chad and the Dominican Republic). The site also listed 10 national and international weeks, and 20 official months. If you'd like to join me for lunch, I'm celebrating National Nachos day. If you don't feel like eating nachos, it's National Split Pea Soup Week, National Raisin Bread Month, Peanut Butter Lover's Month, and Good Nutrition Month. Avoid sugary snacks, because it's National Diabetes Month. Whatever you eat, season it well, because it's National Pepper Month. You don't feel like eating? That's all right too. It's National Eating Disorders Week. It's ironic that we're attacking Afghanistan during the UN's International Week of Science and Peace. Then again, maybe that's how we should celebrate Slaughter Month (yes, it's really there, I promise). A few celebrations have me stymied. To be honest, I don't know if I want to know about the Festival of Total Submission or Do Tater Tots Ever Grow Up? Day. Just how do you celebrate Marooned Without a Compass Day? Why do we even have a day to remember Potting Shed Investitures (garden fairies)? For those of you who are concerned with health, it's National Osteopathic Medicine Week. Don't forget that November is National Alzheimer's Disease Month. Other health concerns are Diabetic Eye Disease Month, National Rediologic Technology Week and National Epilepsy Month. If you're looking for a service project, it's National Hospice Month, Child Safety and Protection Month, National Christmas Seal Month, World Mutual Services Week. If you need a service organization, it's Key Club International Week. This evening, I'm going to play some music to celebrate Saxophone Day and International Drum Month. I'll be wearing diamonds and a hunting shirt since it's Real Jewelry Month and Red Flannel Days (Michigan). On a more reverent note, please remember today is St. Leonard's Day (patron saint of prisoners), St. Illtyd's Day (patron saint of Wales) and St. Paul of Constantinople's Day (Eastern Orthodox). Feel loved if you witness documents. Not only is it National Notary Public Day, but it's also National Notary Public Week. I also heard November is National Stamp Collecting Month, but it's also been listed as October and January, so celebrate at your own risk. If you're going to read, you should know that this week is National Children's Book Week. November is Jewish Book Month, so grab something by Elie Weisel. If you prefer, read about Charles Lindbergh or Louis Pasteur. After all, it's Aviation History Month, as well as National Chemistry Week. Then again, maybe you should read something that will enhance your creativity to celebrate International Creative Child and Adult Month. Whatever you choose, read something since it's American Education Week. Nov. 6 is not a fluke. Every day looks like this, many are worse. Anyone who tried to celebrate half of these special occasions would go crazy. If you ask me, I think it's all a conspiracy by Hallmark to sell more cards. Speaking of cards, I'd better go. I need to pick up a few to wish my parents happy Wet Wellington Wednesday tomorrow.
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