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How do we hate BYU? Let us count the ways
By Dan Chase
In speaking with friends and family about the potential outcome of the game, I was not only expecting a win--I guaranteed it. Imagine my anguish, then, when I heard the buzzer sound and saw the Cougars leave the floor dancing like ballerinas in tutus. And though I wasn't able to be there--I couldn't take a break from work--I can only imagine the solemnity that dampened the Spectrum after such an unexpected loss. Who would have ever thought that BYU needed to be taken serious? Anyway, I'm still not over the loss. Times like these are difficult for me. But to make it a little easier to cope with, I'm providing the Top Five Reasons to Hate BYU Cougars, free of charge. Number five: They're so dang cocky and self-righteous. This one should be obvious. BYU teams think they're "God's gift to the earth" and glory in claiming that they're the examples everyone should follow. Hmm. Sounds like they're a little intoxicated with hypocrisy. I can think of a number of times when players have broken the oh-so-precious "honor code." How about the time when one of BYU's football players gave the University of Hawaii's crowd the birdie finger a few years back? How about the time when Utah State's Donnie Johnson left for the Spectrum locker room after receiving an elbow to the face, courtesy of Mekeli Wesley? How about the time when ... (I could go on and on) Number four: Their Jumbotron. Are Utah State fans jealous? Certainly. But then again, if tithing money went to our athletics program, we'd take advantage too. Number three: Their colors. Well, it may be navy blue, but it sure ain't AGGIE BLUE. In changing their shade of blue, it's obvious that they're trying to be like us. But it still doesn't justify their puke-ugly uniforms. Their basketball ones are decent, but the football ones are a disgrace! They make it look like a bunch of grown men running around with bibs on. Number two: Mekeli Wesley. The guy's a darn good basketball player. If it weren't for him and Terrell Lyday, the BYU basketball team would be nothing. But, he's a punk. As I mentioned earlier, he threw a cheap elbow at Donnie Johnson in the Spectrum a couple of years ago. And what about this year when he blocked a final Utah State attempt at the buzzer and grinned devilishly at the crowd? Very Christlike, Mikeli. Very Christlike. And the number one reason for hating BYU: the pep band. Allowing BYU's pep band through the gate at Romney Stadium is far worse than allowing alcohol. At least alcohol can be controlled. That's right--the BYU pep band doesn't know when to shut up! Cougar fans fill half the stands and the band members play whenever they dang feel like it. There's a difference between playing to energize the fans and being annoying. BYU's pep band is the latter. Along with their band, I cannot stand Cosmo the Cougar. What a sorry excuse for a mascot. He couldn't beat up a University of Oregon Duck. In addition, if Big Blue ever got a hold of Cosmo, he'd gore him in the butt so bad he'd have a lot more holes than one. Well, I better stop before I say something I'm not supposed to. Until next time.
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Archived Months:
September
1998 |
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