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Today's word on

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Those were the days:

"The way I had it is all gone now. The bars are
gone, the drinkers, gone. There remain the smartest, healthiest newspeople in the history of the business. And they are so boring that they kill the business right in front of you."

--Jimmy Breslin, newspaper columnist, 1996 (Thanks to alert WORDster Jim Doyle)


The heck with insanity -- just plead pregnancy

By Brandon Taylor

January 12, 2005 | Throughout history the chains of judicial conviction have been dodged by perpetrators pleading cases of insanity. Crimes ranging from convenience store theft, to murder, have been committed by guilty suspects, who, with sufficient evidence justifying their mental instability, have avoided their justly due consequences.

Pleading insanity apparently excuses offenders from their moral and social responsibilities. They no longer become accountable for their own actions, and therefore could not be prosecuted for an act beyond their control. After experiencing, and surviving my wife's first trimester of pregnancy, I am convinced that expectant women sometimes fall under a similar category; that of "pleading pregnancy."

Women can get away with things during pregnancy that would otherwise be deemed unacceptable. For example, science has proven that women experience a significant, and sometimes drastic, change of hormones during the first trimester of pregnancy. This hormonal bedlam often gives birth to amplified and inexplicable emotions, resulting in random moments of crying and occasional verbal outbursts. Under these conditions, innocent spouses, giving their all to meet the needs of their wife and unborn child, can become victims of a verbal Pearl Harbor. Yet blame remains homeless. During pregnancy, women can say what ever they desire to their spouses, family or friends without concern. If a sloppy husband leaves his clothes scattered about the bedroom, his pregnant wife can unleash her deepest frustrations on him. The frustrations she has kept hidden from her companion, concerning his cleanliness and any other issue that comes to mind. Essentially, she can lay into him without a shred of justification. After all, it's not her fault, it's those damnable hormones.

Not only do women have an excuse for demeaning others while heavy with child, they also have the opportunity to dine on the food of their choice at any time they prefer. They can eat certain foods they otherwise could not afford. Midnight cravings provide them with legitimate reason to bask in the palatable bliss of cuisine of which they have previously been deprived. To put the icing on this victual cake, pregnant women don't even have to prepare any food due to their highly acute sense of smell, which unfortunately triggers their nausea button, or clean up afterward because of their lack of energy.

It's important to note that pleading pregnancy is not a social tactic used by all pregnant women, if any. However, it's certainly a probable mechanism in successfully practicing irregular behavior and eating habits. And, if nothing else, it can serve as a simple reminder for future mothers, that if everything seems to be going wrong, you can always plead pregnancy.


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