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Nursing homes a comfort for all ages, but putting a loved one there can be hard By
Nicole Grubbs
LaReu and Alice Jardine were a happy couple. They would sit on a porch swing every evening in the summer, holding hands and watching the sun set. They reminisced about days when they were younger. Much younger. They would think of their first dates. They would think of the day they got married. They would think of the struggles and excitement of raising their child. When they got older and could no longer do everything for themselves, they moved to a home across the street from their only son and daughter-in-law, Larry and Lois. LaReu lost his wife in 1992, she was 93. LaReu had to find things to entertain himself now that he was alone. He started riding the Logan Transit Department buses every day. When asked about the future, he was optimistic. LaReu loved doing things for others. He would shovel Larry and Lois' driveway in the winter and mow their lawn in the summer. One day, LaReu fell in a window well, while mowing his own lawn, and broke his hip. Larry and Lois knew they couldn't watch him all the time and that unfortunate things would continue to happen to him. They made the hardest decision they have ever had to make, they decided to put their father in a nursing home. "It wasn't easy," Larry Jardine said, as everybody making this choice struggles with it. One way that Larry and Lois coped with the decision was by taking the advice of a doctor. He told them they would be paying money to give LaReu the type of care he needed. Larry said he thought he could give him that type of help. The doctor said he couldn't. It was hard for the couple because he had lived across the street for so long and they wanted to provide all of the help they could. LaReu was always stubborn and he wouldn't have let them do everything for him "I realized I was being greedy," Larry Jardine said. Lois also acknowledged that she wanted her father-in-law to be close. After visiting Sunshine Terrace, her views were altered. She realized that this nursing home was equipped with skilled help and they would try their best to accommodate to the needs of each resident. Sara Sinclair, CEO of The Terrace Grove Foundation, said the nursing home's goal is to make the patients feel at home. She said they encourage the new residents to bring their cherished pictures, anything with sentimental value, and even a favorite chair. These items are necessary to make a person feel more at home, she said. Sinclair said moving to a nursing home is a hard adjustment. "Nobody wants to live outside their home." At first LaReu was reluctant to leave. He would have rather been around family because he missed Alice so much, but he learned to love the nursing home, according to Larry and Lois Jardine. Lois said the nursing home staff did a good job of making her father-in-law feel at home. She said, "I felt relieved that he was receiving the kind of care he needed." After breaking a hip, a person is unable to walk for at least three or four days. It takes months for a hip to heal, even partially. Even the most minor task, such as bathing, clothing, and feeding yourself, become difficult to complete. The Jardines agree that the nursing home staff made the transition much easier. "We are very pleased with the staff," Lois said. When people make the decision to put a loved one into a nursing home, Sinclair said the nursing home considers the patient's needs. She said usually a family member has been providing the majority of care to the person and a crisis situation forces them to turn to the nursing home. "Most of the new patients require 24 hour a day nurse supervision," said Sinclair. Almost every family has a difficult time with this decision because they think their loved one is committed to living there, but sometimes the patients get better and go home. "That is what we want," Sinclair said. Sinclair said the person who needs the center and their family are in the "driver's seat." She said the staff can give advice, but in the end it's up to the client. The only time the client doesn't make the decision is if they are "cognitively impaired." Sinclair says people are surprised that the decision is in their hands, even if a doctor has requested that their loved one be placed in the nursing home. They are "kind of shocked" when they realize that the decision is up to them, she said. "We tell (families) this is not a prison, it's a choice." Not just anyone can work in a nursing home. Certain requirements must be met. Among these, personnel must have an exceptional love for the elderly, according to Larry. "It takes a special personality to work in a nursing home," he added. He continued, some people probably think they can do it, but the job is not for everyone. Chief Executive Officer, Sinclair, agrees that the volunteers are unique. She said all types of people can volunteer because every resident has a different personality. All of the volunteers come from varied backgrounds and are assorted ages, many are college students. The one thing they must share in common is a willingness to "give unselfishly of their time." She added each volunteer needs to be willing to listen and be interested in the elderly. Volunteers need to think of the elderly as "mature adults," she said, "not as children." Sinclair said the general public tends to think that people living in nursing homes are institutionalized and unable to care for themselves. Fortunately, she said, the volunteers don't share that view. "The volunteers are so wonderful," said Sinclair. In addition to the positive experiences LaReu had with the staff, he had the opportunity to be involved in many activities while he stayed at the nursing home. According to Lois, he played bingo, took bus rides every week, attended musical activities, and listened to people talk. Sinclair said the centers provide many activities for the residents and take pride in the variation of projects that take place. She said the programs are designed to suit each individual. There are solitary activities for residents who are uncomfortable around others. There are also one-on-one, small and large group activities. The residents enjoy playing bingo and going to dances, Sinclair said these are examples of large group activities. Music therapy is an example of a small group activity, the residents enjoy listening to soothing tones and they hear many different types of music. Sinclair said, "Music is so healing," and this is a program the residents really benefit from. There is also a day center where the residents spend all day learning new things in this program. The facilities also offer computer classes. "The elderly are just like everyone else, they enjoy learning new things," Sinclair said. "There is something going on all the time," she said, "we offer more than any one person would have in their home." The time seemed to pass more quickly for LaReu. In 1998 he celebrated his 95th birthday there. He was making friends and recovering well from the accident. He soon was well enough to be transferred to Terrace Grove, an assisted living center. Patients are transferred to this building, one block from the nursing home, when they are able to do most things by themselves. Terrace Grove and the Sunshine Terrace comprise the Sunshine Terrace Foundation. Lois said residents can live there when they can exit the building with the assistance of only one person. LaReu always said you have to take what life gives you. After about four months at Terrace Grove, life gave him another broken hip. He was taken back to Sunshine Terrace, and this was, once again, a consolation to the family. He grew to love the workers even more. "He loved the young people, they were so kind to him," Lois said. Larry said, "He loved the workers; he would call them *dear.'" LaReu said the workers were "as good as gold" to him, that was one of his favorite statements. But, he would only use it for people who he really cared about. Larry and Lois were out of town helping their oldest son move to Arizona when LaReu celebrated his 97th Birthday. The workers at Sunshine Terrace and Terrace Grove got him a cake and celebrated his birthday with him. Larry said this and thousands of other acts of kindness meant so much to his father and he knew he had made the right decision. Larry can't imagine the United States without nursing homes. He said, "Where would we be without those types of facilities?" He added, there is a growing need for them. He is absolutely right. According to lifeexpectancy.com the average life expectancy in the United States has risen and continues to rise. In 1940 it was 65.2 and in 1994 it was 76.5. LaReu Jardine died in November 12, 2000 at the age of 97. Although his family was sad to see him go, they knew that he had been with friends and others who loved him. There are many others like "Uncle Reu," as his many nieces and nephews affectionately called him, living in Sunshine Terrace. Sunshine Terrace has 172 beds and Terrace Grove has 55 types of apartments, Sinclair said. Together the two buildings can house over 230 residents. According to a web-page, located at www.meps.ahrqu.gov, nursing home demand has increased 20 percent from 1987 to 1996. This page, featuring nursing home trends, found that with increasing life expectancy and a growing population with functional impairments, meeting long-term care needs will continue to be a challenge. Demand for nursing home care could require 600,000 new beds by 2010. Last year these centers reported 46,000 hours of volunteer work, but more needs to be done, Sinclair said. "It's incredible how supportive the community has been, but we can always use more volunteers." Placing an elderly family member in a nursing home is an agonizing decision. However, families can rest assured that their loved one is in caring and capable hands.
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