By Bryce Casselman

Do you remember the holidays when you were a kid? For me, they were magic. I came from a large family, basically a baker's dozen of kids, and although we didn't have much some years the holidays always seemed to draw us closer together.

Now as a married adult, I find that I would rather have my spleen removed than have to answer the eternal holiday question, "Where we are going for the holidays this year." Often when my wife utters these words to me if feel the flesh slowly burn off my bones and usually say something brilliant like, "Hum!" This of course gets me in trouble to the point that we have an argument and the subject of where to go for the holidays falls by the wayside.

When we do finally have to confront the situation, we have tried several techniques:

The Duck-and-Cover Approach: This basically entails receiving the invitations from loved ones, not committing to anything and then simply sitting at home all day long. For those of you with persistent family members, I would suggest throwing the phones out the window, drawing the blinds and hang a condemned sign on your front door.

The Banzai Approach: This is actually very simple. When your relatives call to see what your plans are for the holidays, simply scream "Banzai" into the phone as loud as you can and then hang up.

The Paper-Rock-Scissors Approach: This is where you cut out different letters out of popular magazines, paste them on to a piece of paper to make a note that threatens your relatives not to have a given holiday, tie it to a rock and throw it through their front window.

The Ronald Reagan Approach: Simply say over and over, "Well, I just don't know," when your relatives ask you about the holidays.

And finally, The Head-nod, Deep-sigh, Serious-face Approach: This is where you get the most concerned look on your face you can muster, repeatedly nod your head and sigh deeply. This causes the inquirer to think that you are struggling with a serious dilemma and cannot give them an answer right at that moment, when in all actuality you are trying to remember if you ate Trix or Cap'n Crunch for breakfast that morning.

These approaches have helped my wife and myself in the past and hopefully they will be helpful to you also. If you have any other suggestions, please send them to my parent's house, we will be staying there for Christmas.

MS
MS

September 1998
October 1998

January 1999
February 1999
March 1999
April 1999
September 1999
October 1999
November 1999
December 1999

January 2000
February 2000
March 2000
April 2000
May 2000
June 2000
July 2000
August 2000
September 2000
October 2000
November 2000
December 2000

January 2001
February 2001
March 2001
April 2001
May 2001
June 2001
July 2001
August 2001
September 2001
October 2001
November 2001
December 2001