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Jenny's story: Surviving anorexia and living a healthy life By
Shante' Tinsley All my life I've been the one who always tried to please everyone. My parents, friends and teachers. I became a perfectionist because I was so scared of disappointing anyone. In high school I got near perfect grades and beat myself up over anything less than an A+. I was also a three-sport athlete, drum major of the high school band and involved in about 10 different clubs. When I was 14 years old I started doing pageants. I always finished in the top three and won over half of the pageants I competed in. It's not that I was great at everything. I just would never settle for anything less than perfection. So the day I decided I needed to lose weight because I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. Well, that was the day everything started to go downhill. This is a story about a girl named Jennifer, whose name has been changed to protect her real identity. This is also a story about an illness that claims the highest death rates of any other mental health condition. This is a story about anorexia nervosa. Jennifer is senior at Utah State University and is looking forward to graduation. She can say that now because she has come a long way from where she was only a couple years ago. As a freshman at USU she was sick and lonely and helplessly unsure of herself. At least that's what she felt on the inside. On the outside she was popular, attractive, outgoing and the center of attention wherever she went. "It's not like I wanted attention from everyone. I just seemed to get it because someone heard from someone else that I was once a 'beauty queen' or that I was a really good athlete or that I graduated at the top of my class. "People liked me because I came off as all of these things. And you know me; I love to please people so I would pretend. I didn't want anyone to know that I was shy, self-conscious and lacked any kind of self-esteem. I kept those things hidden," Jennifer says. Let's start at the beginning. As far back as she can remember, Jennifer has been a perfectionist. She has always been extremely demanding of herself and never accepted personal criticism very well. In first and second grade she was unbelievably shy. Even though she was one of the best students in her class her teachers began sending notes home with concerns about her keeping to herself in class. Jennifer remembers the day she read one of the notes from her teacher. She decided right then she was going to become talkative and outgoing. And she did. One of the first changes she made in order to become the ideal child. Junior high was when she became obsessed with getting perfect grades. Sometimes staying up all night in order to do a simple assignment. Her parents encouraged her to become "well rounded," so she began to get involved with all kinds of activities -- clubs, sports, music, church. So when she reached high school she just piled on more activities all for the sake of being "well rounded" and "perfect." "It wasn't until the summer before my sophomore year of high school that I started to become obsessed with my appearance. I would look at other girls and feel so fat next to them. Looking back now I see that I was one of the skinniest girls in my class. I was 5-foot-9 inches and weighed 135 pounds. I was just very sick." She began limiting her diet and sticking to a strict exercise regimen. She told parents, teachers and friends that it was all for the sake of the next athletic season. They admired her for her discipline. No one suspected she was beginning a spiral down along dark funnel. She lost 10 pounds that summer and returned to school. Everyone complimented her on her appearance. All her girlfriends said they were jealous and wished they could look like her. Jennifer was determined not to lose such praise. So she began eating even less and exercising even more. "Believe it or not, my grades never suffered. I was still at the top of all my extracurricular activities and my game on the court seemed to be improving as well. I was tired all the time but that wasn't enough to slow me down. I thrived on being the best, the most perfect." Sophomore year came and went, as did her junior and senior years. Still sticking to her strict diet and exercise routine she managed to get down to 120 pounds by graduation. She graduated with high honors and was offered a half dozen scholarships to several colleges in the nation. She chose to go to Utah State University. The summer before her freshman year she allowed herself to relax a little bit. She laid off the exercise and even let herself to eat again. By the time school started she had gained back seven pounds. Her first months at USU were full of fun and adventure. She was well liked by her peers and did well in classes. Though no one said anything about her weight gain she imagined people looking at her and pointing. "I decided to stop being lazy and get back into my routine again. I hit the gym harder than ever and restricted my diet to the point I was barely 1,000 calories a day. To other people with anorexia my story doesn't sound so extreme. They may have diets of less than 500 calories a day and exercise for five hours. But that's not what anorexia is about. "Anorexia is an illness that tears down your self-esteem. It kills you from the inside first and then works its way out. Eventually you die from heart failure or dehydration but the truth is you've already been dead for a long time," Jennifer says. Jennifer continued to lose weight until she moved back home the summer after her freshman year. She was down to 110 pounds. The illness had begun to wear her down. Her beautiful smile was gone and her once sparkling eyes were dim. Her parents finally saw that something was wrong. Her parents confronted her with their concerns and she broke down. All the years of pain and build up anxiety seemed to flood out. For the first time she allowed someone to see the real person inside. Her parents took her to a health clinic near her hometown. There she began her slow recovery. "I don't blame my parents. I don't blame my teachers or friends or the media. I don't even blame myself anymore. I was sick. I'm getting better. But there are hundreds of thousands of other girls out there that are suffering in silence. Most of them are the same age as I was when I became anorexic. Some are younger even," Jennifer says. Though Jennifer's case of anorexia is a mild one she is an example of what this illness can do to you. Anorexia Nervosa is an illness that can be hard to detect from the outside. The most severe cases are obvious because they result in skeletal appearances, sunken features and pale complexions. But what about the thousands of other girls who suffer with anorexia but on the outside appear normal? Nearly 90 to 95 percent of anorexia nervosa sufferers are girls and women. One to two percent of American women suffer from anorexia nervosa. It is one of the most common psychiatric diagnoses in high school and college age girls, and about 5-20 percent of those girls will die because of it. Startling enough statistics? What about the fact that 51 percent of 9- and 10-year-old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet? Or that 46 percent of 9- to 11-year-olds are "often" on a diet. Did you know that 91 percent of women recently surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through strict food restriction? How about the fact that 35 percent of "normal dieters" progress to pathological dieting? And of those, 20 to 25 percent progress to partial or full-syndrome eating disorders. The health consequences of anorexia nervosa include abnormally slow heart rate and low blood pressure, reduction in bone density (osteoporosis), muscle loss and weakness, dehydration, dry hair and skin and the list goes on. We can blame it on the media. Did you know that the average American women is 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 140 pounds, but the average American model is 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighs only 117 pounds? That makes most fashion models thinner than 98 percent of American women. The media glorifies thinness and places value on having the "perfect" body. We can blame it on the education system. Over 42 percent of 1st to 3rd graders want to be thinner. An astonishing 81 percent of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat. There is very little emphasis on healthy eating within the schools. We can blame it on the family. Did you know that 25 percent of American fathers are on a diet on any given day and over 45 percent of American mothers are on diets? And 82 percent of grade school children's families are a diet. Also, troubled family and personal relationships can contribute to eating disorders. We can even blame in on society in general. Eighty percent of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance. Americans spend over $40 billion on dieting and diet-related products each year. Today's society encourages competitiveness and perfectionism. There are narrow definitions of beauty that include only certain body types. Yes, we could blame it on everyone and everything. But what about the real problem? What about treatment for this illness? All eating disorders are serious health conditions that can be physically, mentally and emotionally destructive. People with eating disorders need help from professionals. The most effective treatment is a form of psychotherapy or counseling. There are licensed professionals at any local health clinic. Care can be givien by a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, nutritionist, or medical doctor. For girls who are away from home at college there are licensed professionals in your on-campus health clinic. Ask for information. To friends and family of someone suffering from anorexia or any other eating disorder -- look for warning signs. They include but are not limited to dramatic weight loss, preoccupation with food, weight, fat grams and dieting, refusal to eat certain foods, denial or hunger, excessive exercise regimen and withdrawal from friends and activities. A recent statement by the American Eating Disorder Association says, "Eating disorders are complex conditions that can arise from a variety of potential causes. Once started, however, they can create a self-perpetuating cycle of physical and emotional destruction. All eating disorders require professional help." Eating disorders are real and they are affecting everyone around us. Jenny's case is one of hundreds of thousands of girls on college campus. She didn't start there though -- her problem started in high school or maybe even as far back as grade school. "We need to start teaching children by being better examples. Encourage activities and good grades but also encourage them to be strong and accepting of failures. This is only done effectively if they see that their parents and mentors are about to accept themselves just the way they are. I think that's the beginning to ending the problem with eating disorders," Jenny says. For resources regarding eating disorders and recovery visit these
websites:
www.edrecovery.com
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