Since When Has Being 24 and Single Become a Crime?

By Melissa Whitney

November 10, 2004 | What's wrong with being 24 and single? Apparently there is something because everyone, including complete strangers are trying to set me up with "Mr. Right." It's starting to get scary, and I'm beginning to wonder if maybe there is something wrong with me. Is there a stamp on my forehead that says "dateless and desperate"? I certainly hope this is not the image I'm portraying to those I come in contact with.

I work at a meat packaging company called Lower Foods. I run the little retail shop where they sell excess meat from distributors orders. So there I was, going about my duties and opening up the store when a whole slew of ladies came in to purchase meat. As they set their items on the counter I began ringing them up. Then one of them piped up, pointing to my left hand, "What, no ring?"

I laughed and replied, "No, no ring."

"Well, are you dating anyone?"

I replied, "No, no one in particular." Her eyes instantly lit up, and I immediately became
wary.
"How old are you?" she asked.

"24," I replied.

"I have two sons, but they are a little older then you."

I gave a weak smile, pretending I cared.

She went on, "One is 31 and the other is 34. I'm going to have to tell them to come down here so they can see you."

I suddenly felt like one of those pieces of prime rib I stack on the shelf everyday. I just laughed, but kept my comments to myself. She left grinning from ear to ear, as if she had just accomplished some great mission.

Thinking that little fiasco was over, I sort of forgot about the whole thing until today. This very same lady came into the store with another woman, and as soon as she saw me she said, "This is that cute girl I was telling you about. Don't you think Bobby should come down here and meet her?" I may have forgotten her, but she had definitely not forgotten me.

She then asked if I was still "available" or if I had started seeing anyone. "The last time I was in here you told me you weren't dating anyone."

I desperately wanted to lie, but I knew she would see right through me. This woman was not here to play games. She then said, "I bet working hear there are lots of young men you could date. Or maybe you already do." This of course was none of her business, so again I laughed; surprised at how good I was getting at faking I was even slightly amused, and even more surprised at the boldness of her questions.

As she was writing out her check to pay for her purchases, she asked, "What was your name again?" Again I wanted to lie, but my nametag probably would have given me away. "Melissa."

"Melissa?" She insisted. She probably thought talking to me was close to pulling teeth as I reluctantly replied, "Whitney." She quickly jotted it down on the corner of her checkbook. Well, her mission was now complete, while I felt I had just failed every single woman in the world. Why hadn't I just told her I wasn't interested? She was so darn insistent; there was no way around her questions.

This woman is just one example of the many who feel inclined to help me in my "situation." While I appreciate everyone's concern for my well-being, I feel inclined to let everyone know that I am happy. Sure, someday I want to find my soul-mate to share my life with, but I believe everything happens in due course. And no, I am not just saying this to convince myself that I am OK, because I believe that if you want something bad enough, you can have it. In the end, it just may not be what you were looking for. I am not one to go out seeking for this kind of thing; I guess I believe when it's the right time and the right place it will happen. I don't want anyone to ever think I'm desperate, because desperate people end up settling for something less than they could have had.

I will never settle and refuse to. My philosophy on the whole matter is that I would rather be alone and happy then with someone and miserable. So, again, while I appreciate everyone who is looking out for me, please know that when "Mr. Right" is meant to come into my life, he will.

And for those of you with single friends who feel inclined to "set them up" just be warned that some of us would rather chew off our own arm than succumb to another huge disappointment. That, and we might even actually be happy.

NW
MK